‘Ibiza’ (2018): If you squint really hard, it’s a movie (review)

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0.5

Netflix scored major hits in its DVD by mail service, streaming platform, and original series. While Netflix boasts an impressive lineup of hit series such as “Stranger Things,” “Orange is the New Black,” and “Black Mirror,” not even the streaming juggernaut remains infallible. 2018 Netflix original movie “Ibiza” attempts to tap into the travel comedy-rom com genre, failing miserably and impressively.

Publicist Harper (Gillian Jacobs) accepts an assignment from her boss (Michaela Watkins) to wine and dine a potential client in Barcelona. When her best friends Leah (Phoebe Robinson) and Nikki (Vanessa Bayer) learn of the excursion to Spain, the work trip morphs into a girls weekend. Thus kicks off a weekend of drug- and alcohol-fueled debauchery. When studly DJ Leo (Richard Madden) enters the picture, Harper immediately sets her sights on him, hastily abandons her work responsibilities to galavant after her new DJ crush.

Like a weekend bender, “Ibiza” is instantly forgettable bordering on regrettable, and headache-inducing. Thankfully, when you awaken the next morning, you’ll probably forget you even watched this dumpster fire which makes “Showgirls” seem like a Criterion collection caliber cinematic masterpiece. Shoehorning about ten minutes of plot into its ample 94-minute run time, it’s less a film and more a string of loosely-connected scenes occasionally sprinkled in between stock footage music video segments. Largely, “Ibiza” features its leading trio dancing in EDM-fueled clubs. What little dialogue there is feels forced.

Further plaguing “Ibiza,” its characters are completely unlikable. Harper shirks her professional responsibilities and after she’s fired in the dull finale, reveals a plan to start her own freelance consulting business. She stumbles throughout the film taking advantage of her friends, lying to clients, and generally lacking favorable qualities. Character interactions are awkward, almost to the point where it appears as an intentional commentary on the ungainly element of thirty-something life. But that’s lending “Ibiza” far too much credit. Playing out akin to a Mad Libs of comedy, it’s chock-full of genre tropes: the blacklight hotel room scene, a scorching sunburn, and even the trite seagull poop on the head gag.

Still, “Ibiza” isn’t completely devoid of laughs. Vanessa Bayer provides the scant laughs, though it’s also possible I was merely choking on a popcorn kernel. Bayer, a former Saturday Night Live star elicits chuckles with her mere presence. She’s a phenomenally talented actress, and can’t be held responsible for the epic clusterfuck that is “Ibiza.” It should come as no surprise that Will Ferrell serves as producer. There’s the typical Ferrell comedic formula present, and in “Ibiza” it utterly fails. Dreadfully forgettable, painfully cliche, and lacking any plot whatsoever, if you squint really hard, there’s the semblance of a movie buried under a heap of tropes.

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